LOL & Sunday Social

The Middle Wife, By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher:

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show- and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.

First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an "umbrella cord. She's standing there with her hands on the pillow and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Now the kid is doing this

hysterical duck walk, holding her back and groaning. "My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man."

"They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty,and it just blew up and

spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much! "Then the middle wife starts saying "push, push and breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten." "Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said was from Mom's play-center! , so there must be a lot of stuff

inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.

 FAVOURITE TV SHOW OF THE PAST:

One of the funniest shows and my personal favourite, Friends. Greek is a super close second.
If we're talking old school...I'd have to go with Facts of Life (thank you DVDs), Full House and Fresh Prince.

FAVOURITE TV SHOW CURRENTLY:

Big Bang Theory and Big Brother (which starts this week!). I also love The Apprentice (Celebrity and regular) and Dance Moms. And of course Hockey Night In Canada!

WHICH REALITY SHOW WOULD YOU NEVER DO:
I don't think I'd do most reality shows...But especially not Survivor or any show similar to it. I'm not a 'roughin' type of girl.

WHICH REALITY SHOW WOULD YOU LOVE TO DO:

I'm not really much of a reality show type of person...I value my privacy. If I had to pick, I would do Big Brother or something like The Hills, where it's just my day to day life.

TV PERSONALITY/CHARACTER THAT YOU FEEL IS MOST LIKE YOU:
I'm not really sure...Maybe Rachel from Friends- a little materialistic, a little in her own world, but a good person. But again...not really sure...

TV CHARACTER YOU'D WANT TO DATE:

What a great question! I'm going to say Cappie from Greek- love him!